Dr Farquar's Case History

April 21, 2009

Dr Farquar on Challenges


You are a Doctor. How do explain this scenario? (Fooge)

2000 B.C. – Here, eat this root.

1000 A.D. – That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.

1850 A.D. – That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.

1940 A.D. – That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.

1985 A.D. – That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.

2000 A.D. – That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

Dr Farquar says: Spare me the history lesson. There is more to medicine than just some ‘Holistic Fitness’. Anyway don’t they refuse blood transfusions? Well, I give blood. It’s my only chance to check if nurses have a visible panti-line.

Isn’t the greatest question “To be or not to be?”(Fooge)

Dr F: No. I think it’s a grade of pencil.

Isn’t our Lords death about one simple piece of maths? 3 nails + 1 cross = 4 given.(Fooge)

Dr F: I have just bought ‘Kirsty from Kirby’ a crucifix for her birthday. Its not the first time she’s had her back to a tree.

Why can’t I have one from Elizabeth Dukes on a gold chain with a little fella hanging off it? (Kirsty from admin)

Dr F: Like that woman who worked at an airport. Jewellery depicting a particular faith is not appropriate when worn in the workplace. I will probably have to make one for you out of MDF to put in my garden because a gallows will take ages so don’t be so bloody ungrateful.

Do you know 43% of all statistics are worthless? (Fooge)

Dr F: Seven fifths of people don’t understand fractions either.

Is it true that Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there. (Fooge)

Dr F: In my experience a Toblerone when I fancy one is the secret of my success. When I have finished eating it the handy cardboard tube makes me look like I have a canoe in my pocket.

A bird does not sing because it has an answer — it sings because it has a song. (Fooge)

Dr F: I disagree. I knew a bird who liked to sing in the shower. Lyrics were just a warm memory to her. She lost her job as a road sweeper. You would think she would pick things up as she went along there too?

If God removed the rocks from a brook would it lose its song? (Fooge)

Dr F: Hence the saying ‘babbling brook’. I knew a male patient that I treated that had his rocks removed and broke into song at regular intervals after the operation. Hardly bloody surprising is it…? Serves him right for getting the horn during a bed-bath.



1 Comment »

  1. “A bird does not sing because it has an answer — it sings because it has a song”, I like this sentence.

    Comment by Alice — April 22, 2009 @ 7:52 am | Reply

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