Dr Farquar's Case History

August 19, 2005

Dr Farquar on Timewasters


“A stitch in time saves nine what exactly?” By Fooge

Dr Farquar comments: Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? By Fooge

Dr F: Of all the people I’ve met you’re certainly one of them.

Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? By Fooge

Dr F: No one will ever know that you’ve had a lobotomy, if you wear a wig to hide to the scars and learn to control the slobbering.

Are there any unguided missiles? By Fooge

Dr F: It’s hard to get the big picture when you have such a small screen.

Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say “Do Not Pass “? By Fooge

Dr F: Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.

Can you get cavities in your dentures if you eat too much artificial sweetener? By Fooge

Dr F: Listen if ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer? By Fooge

Dr F: I have one nerve left and you are getting on it. I’m going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Did Noah keep his bees in archives? By Fooge

Dr F: Make a mental note . . . Oh, I see you’re out of paper.

Do fish get thirsty? By Fooge

Dr F: I’ve seen only one patient like you before, but I had to pay admission.

Do hummingbirds hum because they don’t know the words? By Fooge

Dr F: Judging by the old saying, “What you don’t know can’t hurt you,” means you are practically invulnerable.



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