Dr Farquar's Case History

February 17, 2004

Dr Farquar on Public Transport

Public Transport

Why does the bus you were waiting for only show up the instant you light up a cigarette? (Contributed by Don F.)

Dr Farquar’s comments: If you light a cigar will a plane turn up?

Why is it that in the movies when paying for a taxi it is possible to grab any note at random and it will be the exact fare? (Contributed by Emma Grant)

Dr Farquar’s comments: Passengers must try to confront their fares. Perhaps its time for ‘change’.

How come when we’re approaching a railroad track and we can see clearly that there is no train coming and the guy in front of us has already stopped and looked both ways so we know there is no train but when we come to a stop we always look both ways as if a train has somehow like a speeding bullet zoomed down the track and is just waiting to get us? (Contributed by Shelby Hobbs)

Dr Farquar’s comments: Do not be afraid of this. For effective protection wear liberal amounts of barrier cream.(This comes in a tube not a train) It will not stop you dying in a train/car crash but the mortician will admire your attention to hygiene.

Is it possible to put more clowns than people in a taxi? (Contributed by Strage.com)

Dr Farquar’s comments: Of course not. Unless you are a suicide bomber too lazy to walk. Generally, like a clown’s car, they will blow up anyway whether a terrorist is in or out of the car. Clowning is a funny old business really.

How is it after a clown’s car blows up, he never loses any blood or, worse, a limb, but only escapes with tattered clothes?

Dr Farquar’s comments: These are the tears of a clown.

Why do we refer to a taxi as a ‘cab’? Isn’t that a bit redundant? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)

Dr Farquar’s comments: This should not depress you. In fact I’m hoping it may give you a lift.

While you’re waiting at a bus stop, obviously for the bus, why do people come up to you and ask if the bus has come yet? Just what do they think you’re standing there for? (Contributed by Maurizio Mariotti)

Dr Farquar’s comments: How naïve of you Mr Mariotti! And you named after another Italian! If this occurs it is only an attempt for a stranger to ultimately exchange body fluids with you. If the persons accosting you are over eighty years old, they may just want you to help to mend their shed.

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